We knew it.

It was going to be hard. Twins and Jettie. Juggling Julia’s schedule. Both working full time, high stress jobs. Never having a day off together due to our opposite schedules. We knew it was going to be a challenge from the very beginning.

John and I talked about how kids would impact our lives before we got married. I was nervous marrying a man that had a 5 year old daughter. I knew John had a heart that was so full of love for his little girl. A little girl that had a been a part of his life for 5 years before we had even spoken a word to one another. With that, John and I made the commitment to each other to always put God first in our marriage and then our relationship would come next. We promised to never let kids get put before “US”.

At the time I wasn’t a mom yet. I didn’t fully grasp the love that a mother has for her child. That unwavering, unmistakable love that happens instantaneously the moment you see them or hear their first cry. I didn’t know that I could feel a love so deep. A different love than I felt for John. Now I would be lying if I said these feelings magically appeared for Julia the moment John and I said “I do”. I knew there would be unexpected challenges that came with being a stepmom. Unexpected challenges of loving another woman’s daughter as if she were your own, but as time went by my love for Julia grew and our bond got stronger.

In 2015 we found out that we would be adding a little girl to our family come November, and Julia was thrilled to become a big sister. As November grew closer, thoughts of “what if” started to creep into my mind. What if I loved this baby more than Julia? What if Julia didn’t like sharing her dad? I was scared.

Now fast forward to January 2018 and we have grown our family from 3 to 6. Our life has become a life of chaos. Beautiful, fun, and entertaining, but chaotic nonetheless. Julia loves being a big sister to Jettie and the twins, and while the fears of loving her as much have disappeared, new challenges have arose.

With all of the busyness in our life right now, John and I have put our relationship on the back burner. We have allowed our children and careers become our focus without even realizing it. It wasn’t until recently that I saw it happening. Now don’t get me wrong, we both know that different seasons in life pose different challenges, and there are some seasons that you have to fight to make sure you are doing everything in your power to make your marriage a priority. As it is for most couples with young children, this happens to be that season in life for us. Acknowledging this was difficult and working to correct has been even harder. Choosing to make those difficult decisions and re-evaluating what is a priority has been a constant theme over the last month. Careers that once held their own at the top of the list have moved further down, and John and I have both worked to make sure the time we do get to spend together is “quality time”. As I look ahead at the months to come, I can see this season drawing to an end, and I am excited to see what the next one holds.

STAY TUNED!

#loveyoulikepeaches